Monday, December 15, 2008

A difference in expectations

There is a difference in expectations. For example, I was watching the movie Cinderella Man with my friend and it is an excellent, yet prototypical boxing movie. The boxer who was once great has gotten older and he he decided to retire before boxing took too much of his health. He becomes the everyman who works hard to earn enough to live on. He is forced back into the ring to earn enough money for his family. The movie culminates with the boxer having to fight the meanest, dirtiest, and best fighter. It’s a classic David and Goliath story and the outcome was inevitable. Well, for me. While my Korean friend Eunju watched the film she got more and more excited as the fight went into later rounds. At the pivotal moment, I knew that the Cinderella man, the Cinderella man was going to win and he did.

     She looked absolutely shocked and said, “He won?...He didn’t die.”

    

     I found her reaction perplexing because of course he lived. Of course he won. She thought that the man was going to die because that’s how it normally happens. This was a twist ending for her.

 

     Are Korean people more realistic and are Americans ridiculously optimistic? I would like to say yes. Everyone loves underdog stories, but I feel that the underdog hero in Korea is a being that has to fight against far more incredible odds than it’s western counterpart.

 

     One of my favorite Korean expressions is 헝그리 정신, which means spirit of the hungry. It means that when you are running on empty, the will is what keeps a person moving and motivated. Take the story of Lim Chunae. She was a female runner that trained to compete in the 1986 Asian Games, which were held in Seoul. She didn’t have the fancy training facilities that more developed countries had. She had to work and train often by herself and she was so poor that she basically lived on ramen. But there was something that drove her to be the best and she went on to win 3 gold medals in the games.

And Lim Chunae wasn’t the only one. Korea in 1986 was a developing nation and yet that year had the most medals in those Asian games. The athletes did it through sheer will and they suffered through hunger and pain to succeed.

I guess my point is that if I was raised on more realistic fare than the fact that the boxer won would have been shocking to me too. 

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Scrap Paper: because I hate throwing stuff away

A friend was telling me about a restaurant that some locals dragged her to in Singapore. “The restaurant was located in a back alley. It looked like a dump- the walls were grey and cracked, the tables were disorganized and piled up with used bowls and bits of food, and the floor was covered ankle deep with used chopstick wrappers. You would think this place would have been condemned but the place always had a line of people fighting to get inside.” I asked her, “So what did you eat?” She paused and it looked like she couldn't remember. She said, "It was something. I mean it was good, I guess, but I felt really rushed and pressured to eat it."

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Chapter 3: Bananas

Everything is very rough right now and I don't have time to proofread. I am currently at 12,000 words and I should be at around 15000 to be on track. I find that I like writing with my eyes clothes and that makes my typing even worse. Oh well, here's an excerpt of something I've written and I'm kinda happy with.

Dan

Chapter 3: Bananas

The yellow smile of a banana was something I savored in my mind. When I was five years old, the banana was the most exotic fruit in the world. They were just coming into Korea and for a poor boy they were simply unattainable. A bunch of bananas would cost about 5 dollars- the equivalent of 10 days savings and my money would never last that long. You would think the vendor might give samples of the fruit, but it wasn’t the flavor people sought. The banana was exotic; it’s color and shape defied logic. The banana came from parts of the world that most Koreans had never even dreamt about. And the name: THE NAME! It’s catchy and cool and sweet and it totally imbeds itself in the brain. Banana, banana, banana. It’s fun to say banana I think the gorilla babies first words are probably banana. It’s easier to pronounce than momma or daddy. Banana, banana, banana. Now what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, bananas.

Buying bananas was something that made your family special- it separated them from the pack. It meant that your mother was open-minded and didn’t expect you to study 20 hours a day in order to become a doctor. (It meant she might accept you becoming a lawyer or possibly even a teacher.) It also marked a special occasion. Bananas were not eaten with cereal. They were not an everyday fruit. Bananas marked a birthday, father making a big sale, daughter getting a good grade, the son’s acceptance to a good high school. Bananas were special.

The fruit vendors would troll the streets with their big wheel barrow selling pearly purple grapes, yellow and white striped chamwei melons, the dark/sticky sweet watermelon, and the smiling banana. While there would be a plethora of the other fruits, there would only be a few bunches of bananas on his cart and they had the best position on his cart. The bananas added cheer and it legitimized the fruit vendor and not some fly by night seller that sold unreliable, over ripe, fruit. Bananas meant that the seller had connections.

And bananas never went brown on the cart. The vendors had some magic trick that kept them in their opulent yellow glow. I saw the brown casings of the bananas on the street- like some worn out sock, but they never went brown on the cart or even in people’s hands.

The bananas on the cart were like bars of gold and they were always in short supply. When the fruit man parked his cart, he would call out.

“Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na. Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na. Chamwei, Subak Podo, Ba-na-na.”

Everyone would perk their ears up at the sound of banana and mothers would get their wallets ready. They knew that they had to keep up appearances. They could not have one family getting bananas without a fight. Mothers would save up special money to buy bananas in order to keep up with the other families. If one family consistently bought bananas, they would shame the other neighbors. Mothers had to buy bananas occasionally just so they wouldn’t lose face.

I was outside in my short shorts and white Y-shirt that had collected the dust of many months. The dust had imbedded itself into the fabric and it didn’t matter how often my stepmother washed it; it stayed a dusty khaki color. I kicked the ground and watched the dust rise up like a cumulous cloud. The dust would hang in the day and catch the rays of sun and then the dust would slowly be pulled back down by the hands of gravity.

A grey haired man with skin walnut brown from the sun pushes his cart towards an intersection. In a droning tone he says, “Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na.”

He pushes the cart past me and says, “Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na. Chamwei, Subak Podo, Ba-na-na.”

I stop kicking at the ground and I look at the bananas that sit on a throne of dark purple grapes.

“Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na, Ba-na-na.” He says as he parks the cart and wipes the sweat from his forehead.

“Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na, Ba-na-na.” He looks around the neighborhood. It is almost like he is gun fighter at high noon. He shakes the dust from his vest and licks his thumb and forefinger. His eyes look at the many gates around him: the gates of silver aluminum and cast iron. He is surrounded by 6 different gates and a little store that has a round Coca-Cola sign and a white refrigerator that has a silver pull down lever.

“Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Ba-na-na, Ba-na-na.” He says this a little softer now. Maybe he picked the wrong spot. Maybe nobody wants fruit today, he thinks to himself. But he knows his customers. He knows his people. He pauses from his recitation.

Instead the droning sound of his call there is only silence. Crickets let out a chirp and locusts let out their WHEEeeee eee ee eee sound. The air is thick with anticipation. The sound of this man’s call was comforting. It gave the day rhythm and purpose. And now it the day feels empty. The sun which had a lazy sense of ennui is not petulant. Out of sheer boredom it starts to strip the color from red tin cans of coca cola, it pulls the green off of a plastic bottle on the street, and starts to pull the black out of people’s hair to turn it a coppery brown.

The man knows what he is doing. And he walks slowly to his cart. He looks forlornly at his fruit and gives a sigh of defeat. He gives a sigh of regret. He bends over to pick up the bar of his aged cart with the spokes of the bike wheels rusted over from use. He gives a look of self-pity for he knows that he will not be able to buy his meal tonight.

From where I stand, the man seems to do this with a smirk on his face. I don’t know how he does it, but he looks sincere, but his sigh his actions, his entire stature conveys a coyness that could only be seen under a microscope. I am observing the world’s greatest actor and the world is truly his stage.

He lets out a defeated cry, “Chamwei, Subak, Podo, Banana.” He let’s banana trail off and then he grabs the bar of his cart.

A gate opens and a woman runs out. “AJOSSI,” she calls out.

And then as if they were all waiting for the queue, another gate opens, and another, and another. There are four women coming through their gates and elbowing each other to get to the cart.

One screams, “Ajossi, how much are the grapes?”

He says nonchalantly, “2000 won for 4 bunches.”
The woman shakes her head, “It’s too expensive.” She says. “Give me a discount.”

Another woman palms the skin of a watermelon and gives it a tap. The man says to her, “3000 won for a watermelon. They were picked today and they are very delicious.”

One woman grabs a chamwei melon and puts it to her nose. She smells. The fruit vendor says, “They are honey melon. They are the best this time of year. 2000 won for 6.”

What I am watching is a poker scene. All three women want the bananas, but there are only two bunches on the cart. They want to know who is doing well. Who has something to actually celebrate? Who’s turn is it to put on airs that everything is fine and the screaming fight from the other night was just a momentary lapse- a misunderstanding.

All three women start asking about the watermelon, the grapes, and the chamwei and not one of them even asks about the bananas. They are bartering down the price of all the other fruit, but not the bananas. Bartering on them would be bad form. Everyone knew what the price of bananas were and that would never change. If one bartered on bananas, this would have to be done in secret. These bananas would be treasured gifts that were bought as a decoy for the children on birthdays when families couldn’t actually afford bananas. These bananas were sold by the merchant as a favor – often at a loss. These bananas were often held until the skin mottled over and the fruit became a pus filled bruise. Bananas are fragile like happiness. All happiness sours, but we still hold on to it as much as we can.

The gates of two more women open and there are two more women coming from opposite sides of the street. The question is: did the vendor pick these women? Did he hear something in the night that they needed bananas? Did he keep records of birthdays and special occasions? Why did he part his cart here?

The three women at the cart see the approaching. One of the women yells out, Ajossi! Do you have bananas!” Right now it is a echo but her thick turnip legs are rolling up the alley. The skinniest and prettiest woman at the cart that is wearing a scarf around her hair and neck says, “Ajossi, I’ll take bananas.”

He looks at her. “Anything else?”

She shakes her head no. She hands him a 5000 won bill.

One of the other women at the cart buys grapes, but only a half order and the other buys a couple of chamwei melons. They all move away from the cart as the screaming of the rotund lady gets louder, “Ajossi! Save me bananas! Ajossi! Remember me? I will buy a lot!” Ajossi.” She is almost at the cart and the three women who were first there look at each other with downcast eyes say thank you to the merchant and good bye to each other and return to their respective homes.

The fat woman comes to the cart and she grabs the bananas. The other approaching women let out a groan. I watch them slow down their pace- one just turns around. The fat woman there asks about the price of all the other fruit on the cart and she gets a huge haul of different fruits and then negotiates delivery to her home by handing the merchant a green 10,000 won note.

The bananas are now gone and the merchant pushes his cart as he talks to the fat woman about the weather. She talks about her children and how well they are doing in school. She says her son this and her son that. The merchant just nods his head and pushes the cart. They are all gone and I am left all alone in the alleyway. Thoughts race through my head and I promise myself to be a perfect student in school so my stepmother will buy me bananas. But then I think to myself. My stepmother would never buy bananas because she is not that kind of person. She would simply balk at the idea. To be honest there were rarely anything sweet in our house other than apples or pears. The apples were for my sisters because it was rumored the apples would make them beautiful. The pears were used in cooking marinades and teas. I actually thought it was a vegetable for the longest time because I had never had it by itself.

I went back to my game of kicking at the ground. The fruit seller was headed back my way. His cart was missing the smile of the banana. I saw him pass by. He didn’t seem to take any notice of me. He just pushed his cart contently.

He went about 20 feet past me. He stopped his cart again. I figured he was going to try and sell more fruit, but he simply looked around a bit. He looked my way, but again it was if I didn’t exist. Then I saw him reshuffling the grapes on his cart. Under the grapes was a box!

He reached into the box and pulled out 2 more bunches of bananas and set them back on his cart. He then turned down another alley and he was gone.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Chapter 2: Dog Memories

Chapter 2 Dog Memories

Hubble is my dog and he spins in circles as I enter my apartment. Today he is wearing a red Santa suit with little tiny red shoes. I guess my roommate wanted to surprise me. He spins himself until he is out of breath and then looks at me with his little tongue out and lets out a little gruff huff. This is his greeting to me.

I take off my shoes and talk to him as I settle in, “Hi, Hubble, how was your day today? Oh, it was good? So what did you do? Oh, right, nothing. Oh, come on you must have done something today. Oh, you took a nap. That’s good. And you hid under the couch. O.K. And you watched TV. What was on? Oh, I like that show. The people are so funny. What did they eat today on the show? Dog! Dog! You’ve got to be kidding me. Did it make you sick? Yeah, I know. Huh? Huh? Have I ever eaten dog?”

“Have you ever eaten dog?” is a question that I often get. I’m a foodie and I’m currently living in Korea. I write a lot about food and sometimes my readers ask me questions about Korean food. “What’s special? What’s the best Korean dish? What’s not spicy? Is there anything vegetarian? How do they cook it? Do you recommend any restaurants? What’s the weirdest thing you have eaten? What’s good? Where can I buy good cheese? How is that healthy? Have you ever eaten dog?”

I mean maybe I should try to downplay it because it is such a taboo to eat man’s best friend. Tackling this question depends on who is asking the question. Some ask this question as a kind of judgment of character. If I answer yes, I could be instantly condemned. In their eyes, I’m less of a person because I have polluted myself by eating something sacred. The judgers that are dog lovers are the worst. They see me as a threat. They imagine me at my house sharpening my knives as I stare at my refrigerator that has posted pictures of their dog. When I am invited over to their house they try to keep the dogs away as if I am the “weird” uncle.

Others ask for a sense of personal shock. They are adventure seekers that just want an answer. They don’t want any details- a yes will suffice.

Others are generally curious. They want to know the flavor. They want to know if it is a delicacy that others have overlooked simply because of personal prejudices. If reasons are convincing, they’ll go out and give it the old college try.

I have a prepared answer for all three. For the judgers:

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that I was eating dog. I was out with some businessmen and they told me they were going to take me to a ‘special’ restaurant. At that time, I was new to the country so I couldn’t read Korean or anything so I was like ok. At that time, I lived in a small country city, so the businessmen couldn’t speak English well. I was poor, I was lonely, and I was happy that I was out with some people.

They took me to this small restaurant in a hidden alley. It looked very old and inside it was very provincal.”

Monday, November 3, 2008

National Novel Writing Month Chapter 1: Grasshopper

Chapter 1: Grasshopper

When I see a grasshopper, I just want to set it on fire.

When i was 4 years old, I ran around the sandy lots of Daegu, South Korea in a pair of rubber shoes that were too small. I like many other younger kids envied the older boys because they controled the lots through intimidation and wile. They were fathers and brothers that I lacked in my life and I followed them like a rabbit feigning for some clover.

It must have been July for they ran in T-shirts soiled from the yellow sand. Some had shoes and some without. There were about 4 or 5 of them. I never could get close enough to find out their names. When I followed, I had to be careful. If I drew their attention, a flurry of kicks and pushes would come my way. They tolerated me at times when I got the ball that would occasionally be kicked too far or if I happened to have money. But overall, I was invisible. I would chase them in my canoe shaped rubber shoes.

Today, the boys were on the prow for grasshoppers. They romped through the overgrown lot. They were yipping like hyenas as they tore at the brown grass as the scorching sun glared down.

I was on the outskirts of the grassy lots-their calls and bravado had laid their claim- and I crouched down my knees swaying back and forth like a satellite dish. There were a couple of other kids around me-they were hoping the same thing as me, for the approval of the older boys. A couple of them I tried to scare off with pseudo- taekwondo kicks and threats, but they weren't intimidated. We all knew that membership would be granted to the kid that found a big, crunchy grasshopper. We all peered at the glades of grass. We prodded with sticks, kicks, stomps, and calls. We were all degenerate gamblers-risking it all on a blind hand.Our dusty hands were poised to grab.

Catching a grasshopper takes precision. Too hard a squeeze and you have a mess, too light and the grasshopper fights with a myriad of kicks and wings. A grab needs to be conclusive-fate must be sealed; you want to the grasshopper to accept its end (it makes for a tastier treat.)

The boys plan was to catch a grasshopper, make a fire, and then eat this crunchy treat. Catching and eating the grasshopper was more for sport then anything else. It was a way to spend an afternoon. The taste was more texture than flavor. The legs were prized most of all for they had the most satisfying crunch. The head was next-the eyes would crackle and pop like fine caviar. Finally, there would be the body. If cooked right, it was the most delicious, but cooking it would often char fingertips before the desired crisp would be achieved.

Awww, yes. Maeduggi. That's the Korean word for grasshopper and I remember chanting it over and over to myself in silent prayer as the older boys screamed and yelled at each other as mutiny set in.

"I told you there were none here, stupid! said the tallest dusty boy.

"Yeah,Stupid!;"echoed the other boys in a chorus of overt annoyance.

"Stupid" did not accept their mocking well and answered them with an array of kicks, stares, and slaps.

"It's not like you chose a better spot, Retard," he retorted. "Retard, like, have you ever found a grasshopper? No. I don't think so."

Retard was not as tall as Stupid, but he was much broader. It was quite obvious that Retard and Stupid were the brains of this operation and there was a bit of a power struggle between the two. Stupid stepped right up to Retard and then looked down with a sneer. Retard responded with a kick to the shin-which Stupid scooted back from and countered with a head push. Retard ducks down, gets into a Taekwondo stance, and punches Retard in his stomach.

The boy with the red blotch on the side of his face yells, "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" His compatriot just looks on- silent.

Throughout the yard all the other kids here the battle cry and they rush over to the grassy lot.

Stupid sends out a long kick that catches Retard in the right ear. Retard responds by charging at Stupid, grabbing his torso, and wrestling him to the ground.

The crowd whoops at this. The Red Blotch and Shy Boy push the circle back by stretching their arms out.

"Beat him up!"
"Kick him!"
"Kill him"
"Yeah!"
"Win, win!"

Stupid and Retard are sweating as they halfheartly attack each other. Little pebbles imbed themselves into their palms and legs.
I am still in my spot: focused; when I see it.

I whisper, “Maeduggi.” I get closer, not wanting to scare it off.

It’s coming towards me. I can barely believe it, but it is coming towards me. I pigeon toe closer as the maeduggi scuttles closer.

My hands are in reach.
I gingerly reach out to catch it.

“MAEDUGGI!” screams a member of the crowd.

I swallow the brown and green grasshopper into the palm of my hands as the dusty crowd looks over at me. I turn to run as I can hear the whooping cry of the crowd behind me.

I run as fast as my matchstick legs will take me. I can feel the heat of the crowd behind me as the air ripples with raw electricity.

“Catch him!”
“Maeduggi!
“Stop or you’re dead!”
“Get him!”

The grasshopper scuttles around in my palm. Wings flying, feet kicking, antennae flickering back and forth as they try to assess its situation and fate. It knows that something is coming.

My little feet are trying to out race my mind. My baby toes are folded under the other toes in the cramped canoe-like shoe and they feel like they are going to rupture.

Step after step, the hoard approach. I feel fingertips on my neck. In fear, I lift my knees higher and take my stride a little further. Then I feel a rough push from two hands. I tumble to the ground as my knees split like a kiss. My hands still cocoon my treasure, that is until my elbows slam against the ground.

“There it goes,” yells Red Blotch. Retard eyes it and then leaps over the smaller kids and grabs the grasshopper by its back leg. I can hear the crunch of the shell.

A cheer rises up from the crowd, “Yay!”
“He got it!”
“Wow! It’s big”
“I wanna bite!”

Retard looks over at Stupid.

“You got the matches,” he says stonily.

Stupid has a smirk on his face as he snarls, “Yeah.”

Shy Boy looks around and gets some newspaper and so does Red Blotch.

“Let’s Go!” says Retard.

Retard, Stupid, Red Blotch, and Shy Boy start off at full speed. The others know that they are not welcome. Some start looking at the ground, while others start to push and play around. I watch the four boys run off with my maeduggi and my blood burns. Maybe, I should have stayed with the others. Instead, I set off after my catch.

The older boys are on top of a large sand hill that is next to a construction site. I am about ten feet away and they do not notice me at all. They are too engrossed in their own world. Retard holds the grasshopper while Stupid and the others crouch around a pile of paper, grass, and other bits of trash. Stupid pulls out 1 matchstick from the box and lights it. He moves it too quickly towards the pile of makeshift kindling and it blows out in a ribbon of smoke. He takes another match and tries to light it, but he strikes it too hard against the strike box. The sulfur tip crumbles and there is a disappointing hiss.

“Stupid, what’s taking so long,” screams Retard.
“It’s too windy,” says Stupid.
The Red Blotch looks at Stupid as if he can’t believe what he just said. “Man, it’s not windy at all, you just don’t know what you are doing. Give it here,” he says.
Stupid is clearly insulted. “Get your own matches! Like you know what you’re doing. Hey why don’t we just cook the grasshopper with the matches!”
“Stupid, what are you talking about! Then the grasshopper is going to taste weird. You really are stupid.”

Stupid throws down the matches and charges at Retard. Retard holds up the grasshopper. “Hey man, stop.”

“Then stop calling me stupid, Retard;” he says threateningly.

Retard smirks and says, “Why don’t I just give you the other leg.”

Stupid says,”OK” to this as the Red Blotch yells out, “Shyboy got the fire going! Hurry!”

Retard and Stupid run up the sand hill. I follow behind and then stop at the bottom of the hill. I can see the black smoke rise up and the boys yelling at each other.

“Don’t cook it now, the smoke is too black!”
“It’s too hot!”
“Let me do it!”

I can hear the crackle of the grasshopper shell and a high-pitched crackle and hiss. I could sense, yet not hear a high pitch siren. I run up the hill and see the boys squatting around the grasshopper. The green maeduggi is now charred black.

“I get a leg,” says Retard; “I caught it.”

I want to scream out when I hear this.

“You promised the other one,” says Stupid.

“Why you,” says the Red Blotch; “You didn’t even do anything. Shyboy got the fire started. He should get it.”

“Shut your ugly face,” screams Stupid. He pushes the Red Blotch down and he falls into me. Stupid looks at me. “What do you want, puppy shit?”

Four pairs of eyes look at me and I feel smaller than I already am. I want to scream, I want my grasshopper. I want to scream for justice, but I know that there will be no justice here. I mumble, no barely mouth.

“Maeduggi.”

Retard stares at me for a second and then starts to laugh. The other boys join in. “You want the Maeduggi, little boy! You want it! Here!” Retard rips off one of the antennae and gives it to me. “Now go away or else.”

I gently clutch the antennae in my hand and run down the hill. About a hundred feet away, I open my palm to see that it has broken into several pieces. It tastes like smoke and dust.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sexy Korean Girl Dances



Hot! Hot! Hot! She can move.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hubble's Birthday Celebration









Hubble here,

I would like to thank everyone that came to my birthday celebration (with the exception of Carol, who insists that I'm a cat and a girl, hence, I am wearing a Sailor Dress in a couple of the photos. Curse you Carol and may all your offspring have crooked noses and leperous features.)

Anyway, thank you for coming over to my two Daddy's house. I really appreciated all of the presents (except for the sailor dress).

I can't wait until my next birthday!

Toodles till then,